Creeps of the Day



Pepe Le Pee UUU?

The french guy in the back couldn't tell if that was delicious cheese that he smelled or if the growling vixen farted. I'm going to go with neither and that he is probably getting a wiff of his sweat infused dirty sanchez.


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The King

This is what happens when Elvis's gardeners evil son pays a homeless man to eat 2 ounces of peyote and hum Blue Suede Shoes while wearing prescription lenses that he found in a pile of garbage.

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The Nine-Fingered Fellow

Losing the tip of your finger is not unfortunate - not by any means - in fact, it makes life a little more fun. Case in point - pretending your stabbing someone in the eye with you nub. Unlimited fun. Add alcohol, infinite fun!

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Specialty Act

This creep remained on the dance floor for several hours catching an astonishing 62 hard boiled eggs in her mouth, earning herself a 7 second standing ovation (me clapping). I wonder if she works bachelor parties?


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Daily Creepy Stories



Man Falls in Love with his Pillow (via nytimes.com)

Creepyfaces.com Analysis:

Does this mean that it is now socially acceptable for me to announce the long love affair I've had with my Jessica Rabbit bath towel? She loves me and doesn't judge me for my mistakes. Not like YOU!

(crying in the fetal position)

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Masked Creep!

I'm not sure whats creepier, the fact that everyone is taking this picture like its a normal photo or the fact that the guy in the middle is wearing his cool wrestling mask out with a "LETS HUG IT OUT" t-shirt on.

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Leaking Creep

The scale of ruination in this picture is phenomenal, but what I'm more intrigued by is the blood stain in the middle of the t-shirt that shapes like Italy. If it's not blood, then I hope it's ketchup. The kind you get in little packets at McDonald's that has the added salt and gluttony. I would put that shit on a Luger's steak and show the chef, it's that good.

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Makeout Session

Guy: "Mmm, you like that baby?"
Girl: "Hehe, what do you think, Todd?!"
Creep: Bites the girls neck, slaps the guy in the junk, runs screaming into a wall, wakes up in prison

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Daily Creepy Stories



Man Arrested With 1,000 Underpants (via metro.co.uk)

Creepyfaces.com Dramatic Reenactment:

Guy #1: "Dude, you're insane. What are you gonna do now with 1,000 pairs of used underwear?"
Guy #2: "What am I NOT gonna do with them?"

(Guy #2 then neatly constructs a lifesize model of Barney the Dinosaur using only purple underwear and holds its hand)

Guy #2: "So... wanna come to the park with us?"

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Wedding Creepers!

It's amazing what a few hours of open bar can create...absolute Creeps! Just wait till the bride and groom see these pics and throw up on each other from the awfulness.

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Closing Time

Does it make you awesome or weird if you are in a bar and you wrap part of your tattered shirt around your ear? And what about removing your teeth? Is it ever not cool to take out your fake teeth to a tipsy, gasping crowd? I say no and no. But then again, I'd wear sweatpants all day if it was socially acceptable.

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Creep of the Week

And the Winner is............



Gilf

What can you say here? If you get your grandma to cook you a nice dinner in a costume that shows a pink two piece bikini, then you might just win Creep of the Week too.

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Hallucinating Creep

This creep would love nothing more than to cover you in chili, sour cream, and cheddar cheese only to lick your entire face and eat all your hair.

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Creepyfaces.com Dramatic Reenactment:

Girl #1: "Ok, I'm gonna hold the camera up for a cute facebook pic, are you ready?"
Girl #2: "Umm, aren't you the cashier at the taco bell across the street? Did you follow me here? Please leave me alone"

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VOTE NOW!


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Twilight Creep!

This crazed Giant fan gets to take a picture with her favorite Linebacker when all of the sudden she spots Plax shooting a hole through his leg. I can't tell if she's screaming "NOOOOOOOOOOO" or if she got the scent of blood and is about to bite Pierce's cheek off.

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What's That Smell?

No commentary is necessary here - I'll let the 360 degrees of creepiness do the talking for this gem.

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Community Service

After this good samaritan took these special creeps to the zoo and the McDonald's ball pit she gave them each a Hershey's Chocolate Bar and pet their stomach's until they fell asleep spooning each other.

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Hugh Hefcreepner

Is that Hugh Hefner? Nope, just some random weirdo who will probably kidnap a small child later and hold her for ransom in his dungeon/basement.

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Double Headed Creep

I guess for any normal two headed creep this would be considered a nice normal picture that would be found on their holiday cards. Fortunately for us this will haunt your dreams tonight.

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Nicked

Nicotine is a helluva a drug. And you can never be too careful when you're smoking around a fiend who will do just about anything to get one sweet, sweet drag off of that recessed filter.


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Spin the Bottle

As much as I want this to be the beginning of a nasty Skinamax video, the alleged lesbian to the left looks like she just found out her pet turtle died. I have a feeling the scandalous creeps in the back paid each of these lovebirds 10lbs of cookie dough to perform this amazingly awkward porno.

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The Creep Tongue Kiss

If you're not sure whether or not a girl is into a first date kiss, just throw out the creep tongue. One of three things could happen...

a) She rejects it, calls you a freak, and you play it off like it was a joke
b) She goes for it, and a weird gross make out session ensues
c) She sprints for the nearest exit. Now you have the afternoon to yourself to eat as many hot dogs as you can and read Japanime porno mags till you can't see straight

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Boat Beast

Shortly after this picture was taken they wrestled the Creepy pale merman to the ground, sliced him up, and used him for bait.


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Blue Steel

"What is this? A center for ants? How can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read... if they can't even fit inside the building?"

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Cleavland Rocks!

Who is the biggest creep in this picture?


a) Ted Allen in a pink shirt
b) Obsessed fan with lockjaw
c) Man in blue shirt vomiting in his pants
d) Axe murderer with constipated stare (back right)

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Daily Creepy Stories



Man sniffing gasoline bursts into flames after being Tasered

Creepyfaces.com Analysis:

Moral of the story: Always remember to lubricate (marinate) yourself in duck sauce before sniffing any flammable substances...just in case.

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Stay Away From The Darkness

This is what you see when you take peyote at a road-side arts & crafts shop in El Paso that's run by a mother daughter combo hellbent on spreading their witchcraft.

Or maybe that was just my experience...


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Creepy 80's Bonanza Spectacular

Is this...

a) A realistic interpretation of how people dressed in the 80's
b) A realistic interpretation of Charles Manson's idea of "the future"
c) The last photo taken before the person on the left (red headband) had a makeover, got breast implants, and changed their name to Brittney Spears

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GILF?!?!

I'm not sure whats creepier, the dope body on the golden girl or the disturbing images that I'm getting of Magda doing the reverse cowgirl on Woody Harelson!

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Puckered Creep

Leave it up to a giant, bearded, constipated Asian man to jump in on pic and ruin everything.

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The Graduate Creep

In order to be a part of this picture, it was required that all participants either have a butt-cut, or rip 34 tubes prior to commencement.

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Fitting In

Want to guarantee a night that ends with you taking a cab home from the bar alone, drunk and ornery, and reeking of spilled margaritas and possibly some wet garbage? Ruin a girls group shot. Nobody likes you. Except us, of course.

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You Have The Right To Remain Creepy

After this picture was taken, creepy mustache cop unleashed his "nightstick", beat the two gals senseless, dressed the other 2 nerds up in their mini skirts, and then forced them to play double dutch until the sun came up.


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Perfect Symmetry

I don't know if this picture was ever going to be normal, but there is enough about it to make it creepy. And sad. Mostly sad, actually...

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That Old Move

Girls leans over to take a photo, camera red-eye flashes, guy jumps in, pretends to hump, hilarity ensues...

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The Neck Brace Surprise

Always the optimist, Jimmy still praises the hopes for peace even after hurting his neck in a freak, drunk head-first dive into a dumpster

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Oops I'm Creepy Again!

This is what happens when you and your friends drink 151 by the handle while getting ready to go to Club Weird. Enjoy the AWESOME caliber of guys that try to pick you up!


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Come Fly with Me

I don't have much to say about this one, except life would be a little sweeter if the guy on the right could actually use his arms to fly, and wasn't blacked out and sitting on the floor of a dirty bar with his knees covered in cigarette butts and shame.


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A Team

This is called Teamwork. Hit 'em from all angles, then disappear to the bar so you can rub up awkwardly against drunken women drinking from dick straws while celebrating a bacholerette party, and then get thrown out by a bouncer in front of that girl from accounting you're trying to nail. Game. Set. Match.


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Self-Portrait Gone Awry

Once again, the negative space was not taken into account, thus ruining a perfectly worthless self-portrait that at the time seemed like a great idea. But so did the succession of Jager Bombs and shots of Old Gran Dad...

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And the Winner is............



Nuptial Creep

We've all been there before. Sitting at a wedding by yourself. You never really wanted to go and you secretly hate everyone because you didn't want to spend money on the gift. Take out your aggression in a positive way. Make hideously disgusting faces and ruin all the pictures. Then who wins? You do... You do.

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Steely Eyed Creep

If you stare into those eyes long enough, they will absorb your soul, possess your mind, and force you to drink absurd amounts of imported beer until you vomit into your own hair and end up sleeping on a park bench.

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Not Exclusive

At first glance these two may seem like newlyweds getting ready to order the early bird special at Mount Airy Lodge, BUT truth be told, this stylish old timer (creep) randomly sat next to this heartthrob, ripped open his top button and began eating an astonishing amount of chocolate pudding- Skillzzzzz!

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Dictator Creep

I'm pretty sure she's getting to the part of the speech where she declares war on the Republic, threatens all traitors to the revolution, and warns of social genocide. Oh, and then she pounds the podium and executes several of the majesty's personnel via guillotine and the gallows.

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Daily Creepy Stories



Via Snopes.com: Man fights Mountain Lion with Chainsaw.

Creepyfaces Analysis:

Sounds like the synopsis to a Uwe Boll movie, doesn't it? But it's not. And you're skeptical brain thought this kind of amazingness only happened while you hallucinated on rubbing alcohol and pot brownies, didn't it? Well, shame on you then.

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The Ice Cream Scoop

I feel for this guy, because when I look at this dude's dome, I too think of chomping down on a frosty scoop of butter pecan ice cream...Plus, Run DMC fucking RAKES!

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Lestat and Louis

"1791 was the year it happened. I was 24, younger than you are now. But times were different then, I was a man at that age: the master of a large plantation just south of New Orleans. I had lost my wife in childbirth, and she and the infant had been buried less than half a year. I would have been happy to join them. I couldn't bear the pain of their loss. I longed to be released from it. I wanted to lose it all... my wealth, my estate, my sanity. Most of all, I longed for death. I know that now. I invited it. A release from the pain of living. My invitation was open to anyone. To the whore at my side. To the pimp that followed. But it was a vampire that accepted it..."

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The "O" Face

Now while the creep in the zebra skin shirt is showcasing a seductively erotic fish face, the man in the very back is securing the title for master creep (along with most dangerous psycho in the bar). See him?? Now be sure not to make eye contact!


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But George, I Just Want To Pet The Wabbits

Shortly after this picture was taken, little Lenny put on his new Velcro sneakers, ripped the head off his teddy bear, and got picked up for school by a short bus covered in Beverly Hills 90210 stickers.


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