Creeps of the Day



Party Fowl

Not only did this creep's neck disappear prior to the photo being taken, but so did his integrity.

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Smooth Move

Billy had no idea a soft seductive blow to Kelly's ear would result in a nervous fart that would eat through his jeans leaving him bottomless, rejected, and ashamed.

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Welcome To New York

Couple: Our very first Giants game, so f'ing exciting...Sir, sir, would you um mind taking our picture?

(Cameraman patiently waits for his friend to get into position)

Cameraman: Say Cheese!

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Quite the Looker

Sometimes, after several dozen beers, it's not longer necessary to sneak a peak at some cleavage. No more saying, "oh I was scanning the crowd and just happened to look down your turtleneck," or, "oh I was just checking out that cool necklace you have on - is that white gold?"

No - you just do what this guy is doing, you dive right in, because you know what? You only live once, so who gives a shit if you look like you're trying to burn those boobies into your brain like it's made of carbon paper?


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Running Up On You

Guess who's had one too many Pabst's?

...

...

If you said the guy with his arms around the girls, you are correct. Seven minutes after this photo was taken, he stripped naked and shit in a potted plant.


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Creeps of the Day

This is a three-part COTD.

PART I: Recognizance




Hey look, attractive girls and alcohol that doesn't come in a plastic bottle and you're nowhere to be found. Coincidence? No. But check out the guy in the upper-right corner sneaking his way. "Hey, we're all drunk, we're all laughing it up, we're all feeling good, who knows who's hand that is unbuttoning my bra?"

Part II: Checking For Witnesses



The creep shows his full face. This is like watching pirahna swim lazily around a helpless goldfish...

Part III: Making Moves



As stated above, those chapped, bristly lips could be any one's, right? Right?


*Bonus - look at the girl sprawled out face-first in the background. I bet she's having regrettable sex later!




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Truly Scary

A Big Boss Man look-alike, a woman with a face that's being blasted by a jet engine...Just another standard night at the local OTB. Anyone have a USA Gold to spare, or a shot of paint thinner?



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Ooh, Ooh That Smell

Via an Eagle-eyed Reader: "(name redacted) looks like he's trying to smell his own fart."

I agree. And there's nothing more satisfying than farting, catching a whiff, and giddily awaiting the moment when the rest of your companions smell the awfulness that is the insides of your putrid stomach. Bravo, sir.

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Hater


She's just jealous because she doesn't get to wear cool, Emo nail polish, too.
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Milk Maids

This guy missed the bus to Tottenham and instead needs to waste some time asking random women for a "suckle." Needless to say, this English Gentleman did not last very long in the bar. But he did get a free ride through the door with his face!
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Nuptial Creep: Volume 2

This is why weddings are awesome, because you can be the guy who gets bombed during cocktail hour and ruins hundreds of photos, and you're that guy, but not in a bad way, in a: "Holy shit, did you see so-and-so punch the bass guitarist in the face and steal his wallet? It was fucking nuts? So-an-so is fucking psycho. Let's buy him free drinks and get him this fucked up every time we go out!"

Or maybe only I think this way. But whatever. Cocktail hour drunk is the best kind of drunk...
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Creep Hysteria

You know what he's laughing at? Your fucking face!

HEYYYYYOOOOOOOO!!


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Daily Creepy Video



Vader Dances To Hammer

Creepyfaces.com Analysis:

What's the easiest way to turn on all of the fattest and ugliest women on earth? The answer lies within this video.

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Creep of the Week

and the winner is....



Dated Manuever

The brunette on the left was the 3rd wheel the entire night. When given just a few seconds alone, the other two would makeout like teenagers and rummage through garbage like hobos looking for treats and snacks.

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Daily Creepy Videos



How to wake your girlfriend up?

Creepyfaces.com Analysis:

After the video ended, the girlfriend fell madly in love with the bearded prop. They now live in Belview Hospital with two beautiful children.

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The Return of the Hipster

This hipster walked around in his skinny jeans for twelve more minutes, ruining photo after photo, then returned to his studio in Soho to drink micro-brewed beer and cut himself with a shard of broken glass while listening to the B-sides of his new Vampire Weekend imported LP.

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Unidentified Super Fan

Crowded bar, Rey Mysterio Jr. mask, creepyfaces.com t-shirt...this man deserves a cookie.

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Daily Creepy Stories



Top 10 Dubious Toys (via Time.com)

Creepyfaces.com Analysis:

We're not sure what we like more: Barbie's pregnant friend or the doll of a homeless girl. Either one of them must be best seller. I mean, what little girl doesn't want to play with homeless people while they console their pregnant teenage friend?

(fart noise)

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Camp Creep

Hours later the creep on the left was found gutting his two friends and singing show tunes.

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The Jealous Type

What's up with the psycho on the far left? Do you think she's mad because she doesn't own a Deuce McCallister jersey? I think so. That, or she's just a bitch...

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And this years sexiest creep alive is...

Lets take a closer look at the losers...I mean finalists:

Creep #1: Glossy hyper colored button down with perfectly trimmed chest hair (possibly a bit ahead of his time)
Creep #2: Playing for the "skins" team, drooling on his feet, and rocking last nights vomit stains on his chest (it's the style...in Bum Land)

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Daily Creepy Stories



Feces-covered nude man jumps into man's pool (via yahoo news)

Creepyfaces.com Analysis:

Surprisingly, the police did show some leniency here and did not charge the victim with "being covered in doodie in public".

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Creeps of the Day



Kung-Poo

Shortly after this picture was taken, the elder to the right shoved this creeps head directly up his own ass for mocking his karate jacket. I know some off you had enough of the doodie jokes, but this one happens to be a true story.

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Head Fart

An odd, wet fart sound came out of this weirdo's mouth while he was making this picture. His head then fell off his body and morphed into a miniature Rosie O'Donnell and started biting peoples legs.

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Third Wheel Domination

And yet another future facebook profile picture ruined. Good job guy who can contort his face to look like a mixture of Howard the Duck and Skeletor.

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Come Monday

This guy, fresh off the banana boat from a Jimmy Buffet concert, is not only looking forward to a cheeseburger in paradise and a day in Margaritaville, but also hopefully ending the evening by slaughtering some coeds and wearing their skin as a Halloween costume...

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Daily Creepy Videos



Horny Turtle Humps Shoe

Creepyfaces.com Analysis:

This turtle is breaking hearts and taking names. Just last week he was making sweet love to the garbage can, and the week before that he had a thing for the flip-flop. Once a cheater, always a cheater...right ladies?!

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Petrified

What do you do when your deathly afraid of having your photo taken? Well, you do what this guy on the right did: close your eyes tight, as tight as possible, and tell yourself "this isn't happening"
over and over until it's actually over and you can vomit freely into your coat pocket.

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Three's Company

If two out of three people look like they belong in Grand Central Terminal break-dancing on cardboard and begging for Dunkin Donuts crumbs, does this mean the third person is the better person? I think not. But then again, I have break-danced for money...hey, when you got it, you got it, sister...

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Creep of the Month

and the winner is.....



Dr. CreepyLove Says:

For all you ladies out there, just remember that the way to man's heart is by feeding him sandwiches for hours and then tickling him in the chest until he breaks out into hysterical laughter and then vomits on everyone around him. That's how you'll know you won him over.

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Daily Creepy Stories



Google Amazingness (click on image or follow these easy steps)

Step 1: Go to Google.com
Step 2: Type I Like within the search bar

Step 3: Read options within drop down menu
Step 4: Realize you are not the only person interested in becoming a dinosaur
Step 5: Buy scotch tape
Step 6: Bite the head off of your sisters Barbie Doll

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Chinese dwarfs set up their own village

Creepyfaces.com Analysis:

Rumor has it that the first order of business is to build an alliance with the Smurfs and declare war on the neighboring Cyclops village.

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Confused Stalker

Just as this weirdo started to make his move and ask one of the girls out, a camera appears and focuses in on taking the picture. This puts a wrinkle in his plans, as it will now be harder to kidnap the girl and eat her hair when she turns him down.

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Triple Threat

If you're in a bar and you see these 3 jerks be careful. Just when you think you're getting a good panoramic shot of the bar, these 3 ninja warriors will slip in your picture without you ever seeing them.

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Tailgate Dominance

They don't call it the "Silver Bullet" for nothing...

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Cirque Du Crazy

Wife: Honey, those f'ing creeps are back again!
Husband: Ugh, okay, I'll deal with it...

(Husband puts on grass skirt & bra and feeds them a giant bowl of Fruity Pebbles)

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The Tickler

The tickler has been known to frequent museums and tickle the feet of paintings and sculptures. Amongst his other fetishes, he also enjoys combing the hair of my little pony dolls, and painting the fingernails on Hannah Montana posters.

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Portrait of a Weirdo

Just a few laughs, a few beers, a few weird touches, and a whole lot of fun times at the 5th annual "Benefit for the Socially Awkward and Stomach-Churningly Ugly."

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Daily Creepy Videos



Wrong Hole

Creepyfaces.com Analysis:

I hear Weird Al and Stephanie Tanner are firing back with a song about donkey punching.

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Inevitable Manure Dump

Right after this picture was taken, the two girls crashed headfirst into the back on a pickup truck filled with manure. Marty McFly then sped away on his hover board and went straight to Doctor Emmitt Brown's house where they fornicated for many hours under the pale moonlight.

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Shwingg

Santa: Hello child, what would you like for Christmas?
Boy: I'm too embarrassed to ask, Santa.
Santa: Don't be such a pussy, spill your guts or get the f*ck off my knee

And so he did, and so he gave....

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White Out!

Hey I didn't know they were shooting a sequel to Powder, only this time its going to be called "A man the color of sperm with a small johnson and awesome aqua socks"

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A Dated Maneuver

While the Stop pig man in the front and the side-ponytail are both good ways to ruin a photo (and did ruin a photo in this case), can someone please explain to me why, in the year of our lord two-thousand nine, that douchebag underneath the TV is "raising the roof"? Seriously, that shit wasn't fucking cool when it was "in", but to still do it now makes me want to hurl myself out the window onto a truck bed filled with flu shot syringes.

Grow up, dickhead!

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Perfect Couple

Sally: Alright Todd, I promised my parents I would send them your picture, so say cheese!!!
Todd: Nah, not now pumpkin tits

(Sally squeezes his balls until he looks at the camera)
(Todd throws up in his underwear)

Sally: Who's your daddy?
Todd: You are... (hysterically crying)

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Dear Friends,

As El Capitain pointed our earlier, I have been travelling on vacation wearing lederhosen and berets. I am happy to annouce that I did not kill any homeless people or get breast implants while I was away. Please vote for Creep of the Month below. If not, you will be killed... by a dinosaur... sometime soon...

-Dr. Creepshow



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Creeps of the Day



Screaming Monkey Man

Another Halloween picture ruined. This guy looks like someone is clamping down on his genitals and they give him indian burns and slap him in the face with a piece of roast beef.

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Jealousy

What is the older man with the cool glowing necklace thinking:

A) I know this Journey song too (Pouting inside)
B) I love me Lucky Charms (Referring to ziplock bags of fingernail clippings)
C) I can't wait for these boys to lose all inhibitions

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Wedding Creep Strikes Again

When we last left Wedding Crasher Creep, he was attacking less prominent guests at the wedding. This time, he's moved on to bigger fish. Literally. You can't see it, but he is eating a pile of leftover salmon from the kitchen. It's pretty gross. Then again, some may say it's amazing.


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Finger Bang Bang

What is this girl doing?

A) Tickling the foot of a dead hooker who is hanging from the ceiling
B) Catching Jelly Rings on her finger and feeding them to her pet squirrel
C) Showing everyone at the party what a booger looks like after you snort a bowl of dried cake batter

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Creepwork Orange

Not really sure what the premise of this situation is but I'm pretty sure it involed lots of narcotics and dead bodies.

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Sneak Attack

This guy isn't ruining the picture, he actually recognizes you. Remember him? Huh? Remember that handle of Mount Gay and heavy petting? Well you better, because I'm pregnant you hear me? PREGNANT! AND I'MMMMMMMMMMMMM KEEPING IT!

(resuscitates from black out)
(slinks out back door)

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Go Blue!

Cowboys are terrible at winning, but their fans appear to have a future in creeping.

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Nauseating Creep

Just moments after this picture was taken, the guy in the back wandered into the girl's bedroom and vomited in her underwear drawer. He hasn't been seen since.

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