The Amount of dedicated "
days" this country has is beyond ridiculous. "Boss's Day"? Really? Now why in the holy fuck would I want to celebrate my boss? Isn't kissing his ass daily, doing his bidding, and making him lots of money enough? Or do I need to shower him with gifts and praise like he's some sort of fucking hero? Give me a break. And what about "Grandparents Day"? Thanks for reminding me that they're deceased, Hallmark. Now fall down a well, fuckers...
But tomorrow is the exception to my hatred, friends. Tomorrow is
"Pirates Day". That's right,
Pirates Day. Pirates are fucking awesome. They pillage, they steal, they drink rum from barrels and have wood teeth. They do what they want, when they want. Like Bill Gates, only less nerdy. Oh, you say you like ninjas better? Well go back to 1997 you fucking geek. Pirates are the new ninjas. So, if any of you have any photos of you dressed as a pirate, posing with a pirate, or, I don't know, commandeering a yacht and kidnapping a wealthy couple, send them this way. Otherwise, enjoy your day, mateys!
Labels:
Call to Action,
El Capitan,
The Registered Creeps
So, many of you (yes, I'm talking to you, all 67 of our fans) may have noticed that there has been no "Creep of the Week" for two consecutive weeks now. Maybe you haven't, I don't know. Maybe you have some shit going on at work? Maybe you've been having some issues with your spouse? Well, I'm here to tell you he/she didn't mean what they said. He/She was just upset, and knows that by saying what he/she said, they could get a rise out of you. They're sorry. They're so, so, sorry. Please forgive he/she so you can get back to your normal routine of smiling to each other's face, and then secretly loathing them behind their back.
Anyway, what the fuck was I saying?
Oh, right, no Creep of the Week lately...
As you may or may not know (or care), Doctor Creepshow is our resident computer genius. And right now he is galavanting around Europe, wearing lederhosen and drinking warm Hefeweizen from a German tankard. The remaing three creeps, myself included, are unable to comprehend the intricate process behind COTW - even though it's probably just cutting and pasting and shit like that - because we are retarded.
But hang tight, the Doc will surely return. And when he does, we will have a massive balloting for September, making sure all ten of you that like to vote will have your say in who makes you want to vomit the most.
Labels:
site update,
The Registered Creeps
Tomorrow is our great nation's birthday, a time for celebration, patriotism, and ingesting ungodly and potentially life-threatening amounts of potato salad and coleslaw. Unless of course you're reading this and you're from another country, and if that's the case, well...USA! USA! USA! HEYYYYOOOO!!(chugs 5 cans of Old Milwaukee)(lights off fireworks)(burns down double-wide trailer)But seriously, not only is the 4th of July a good time to get sauced while it's still light outside, it's also a good time to ruin a few photos. Does your Aunt want a picture of all her nieces and nephews wearing Patriotic polo's and neatly pressed khakis? Well, it's up to you to get your ass in that shot and make a face so distorted and creepy that it's sure to make your family debate whether or not you need professional counseling. We're counting on you. Don't fail us.So, we're off for the weekend - off to grandeur places filled with mystery and solace (the bar). But we'd like to thank all of you Creeps for your amazing submissions, it's been one hell of a launch week. Keep 'em coming, and remember: Creep on, creeping on.Here are a couple of Historic Creeps sure to keep you up at night. I know that they're already haunting me.
[
Image Source]
John Breckinridge was a former Vice President and Confederate General during the Civil War. He also was the great-great-great-great grandfather of both Mathew Perry and Joaquin Phoenix.
[Image Source]
This is the earliest known picture of the "No Neck" version of the Creepy Faces, experts (us) believe.
Labels:
Happy 4th of July,
Historical Creeps,
The Registered Creeps
