If you're in a bar and you see these 3 jerks be careful. Just when you think you're getting a good panoramic shot of the bar, these 3 ninja warriors will slip in your picture without you ever seeing them.
The tickler has been known to frequent museums and tickle the feet of paintings and sculptures. Amongst his other fetishes, he also enjoys combing the hair of my little pony dolls, and painting the fingernails on Hannah Montana posters.
Just a few laughs, a few beers, a few weird touches, and a whole lot of fun times at the 5th annual "Benefit for the Socially Awkward and Stomach-Churningly Ugly."
Right after this picture was taken, the two girls crashed headfirst into the back on a pickup truck filled with manure. Marty McFly then sped away on his hover board and went straight to Doctor Emmitt Brown's house where they fornicated for many hours under the pale moonlight.
Santa: Hello child, what would you like for Christmas? Boy: I'm too embarrassed to ask, Santa. Santa: Don't be such a pussy, spill your guts or get the f*ck off my knee
Hey I didn't know they were shooting a sequel to Powder, only this time its going to be called "A man the color of sperm with a small johnson and awesome aqua socks"
While the Stop pig man in the front and the side-ponytail are both good ways to ruin a photo (and did ruin a photo in this case), can someone please explain to me why, in the year of our lord two-thousand nine, that douchebag underneath the TV is "raising the roof"? Seriously, that shit wasn't fucking cool when it was "in", but to still do it now makes me want to hurl myself out the window onto a truck bed filled with flu shot syringes.
As El Capitain pointed our earlier, I have been travelling on vacation wearing lederhosen and berets. I am happy to annouce that I did not kill any homeless people or get breast implants while I was away. Please vote for Creep of the Month below. If not, you will be killed... by a dinosaur... sometime soon...
Another Halloween picture ruined. This guy looks like someone is clamping down on his genitals and they give him indian burns and slap him in the face with a piece of roast beef.
What is the older man with the cool glowing necklace thinking:
A) I know this Journey song too (Pouting inside) B) I love me Lucky Charms (Referring to ziplock bags of fingernail clippings) C) I can't wait for these boys to lose all inhibitions
When we last left Wedding Crasher Creep, he was attacking less prominent guests at the wedding. This time, he's moved on to bigger fish. Literally. You can't see it, but he is eating a pile of leftover salmon from the kitchen. It's pretty gross. Then again, some may say it's amazing.
A) Tickling the foot of a dead hooker who is hanging from the ceiling B) Catching Jelly Rings on her finger and feeding them to her pet squirrel C) Showing everyone at the party what a booger looks like after you snort a bowl of dried cake batter
This guy isn't ruining the picture, he actually recognizes you. Remember him? Huh? Remember that handle of Mount Gay and heavy petting? Well you better, because I'm pregnant you hear me? PREGNANT! AND I'MMMMMMMMMMMMM KEEPING IT!
(resuscitates from black out) (slinks out back door)
Just moments after this picture was taken, the guy in the back wandered into the girl's bedroom and vomited in her underwear drawer. He hasn't been seen since.
"Best bridesmaids everrrrr!!! Lets take a picture and then more shotssss!!!!"
(weird picture taken) (girl on the right bites off other girl's ear) (15th shot of tequilla) (girl in top left pees her pants and lights her hair on fire in weird celebration dance)
This guy thought he was going to have the perfect season opener at his local watering hole. His team was finally winning a game and he found a girl to go home and celebrate with until this guy from the local asylum drops by to hang out and go down on this girls hand.
The Amount of dedicated "days" this country has is beyond ridiculous. "Boss's Day"? Really? Now why in the holy fuck would I want to celebrate my boss? Isn't kissing his ass daily, doing his bidding, and making him lots of money enough? Or do I need to shower him with gifts and praise like he's some sort of fucking hero? Give me a break. And what about "Grandparents Day"? Thanks for reminding me that they're deceased, Hallmark. Now fall down a well, fuckers...
But tomorrow is the exception to my hatred, friends. Tomorrow is "Pirates Day". That's right, Pirates Day. Pirates are fucking awesome. They pillage, they steal, they drink rum from barrels and have wood teeth. They do what they want, when they want. Like Bill Gates, only less nerdy. Oh, you say you like ninjas better? Well go back to 1997 you fucking geek. Pirates are the new ninjas. So, if any of you have any photos of you dressed as a pirate, posing with a pirate, or, I don't know, commandeering a yacht and kidnapping a wealthy couple, send them this way. Otherwise, enjoy your day, mateys!
Forget the nerdy guy in front, what's got the little vampiress all upset? Did she just find out that Twilight is gay and it sucks? Because I could have told her that, and saved her $12.
Heres a little tip: Next time you squeeze into your grandma's sexiest lingerie and strike a pose for that highly anticipated facebook picture...look behind your ass first! Creep to the right is truly amazing.
Cousin Ida, when properly secured by arm locks and straight jacket and kept away from all alcohol, chocolate, and toilets, was always a blast to have at the family reunion.
This questionably gay kid (not that there's anything wrong with that) does not fuck around, especially when it comes to his bacon. Sadly, I can relate.
So, many of you (yes, I'm talking to you, all 67 of our fans) may have noticed that there has been no "Creep of the Week" for two consecutive weeks now. Maybe you haven't, I don't know. Maybe you have some shit going on at work? Maybe you've been having some issues with your spouse? Well, I'm here to tell you he/she didn't mean what they said. He/She was just upset, and knows that by saying what he/she said, they could get a rise out of you. They're sorry. They're so, so, sorry. Please forgive he/she so you can get back to your normal routine of smiling to each other's face, and then secretly loathing them behind their back.
Anyway, what the fuck was I saying?
Oh, right, no Creep of the Week lately...
As you may or may not know (or care), Doctor Creepshow is our resident computer genius. And right now he is galavanting around Europe, wearing lederhosen and drinking warm Hefeweizen from a German tankard. The remaing three creeps, myself included, are unable to comprehend the intricate process behind COTW - even though it's probably just cutting and pasting and shit like that - because we are retarded.
But hang tight, the Doc will surely return. And when he does, we will have a massive balloting for September, making sure all ten of you that like to vote will have your say in who makes you want to vomit the most.
Isn't young love beautiful? This reminds me of the first time I removed my retainer, shaved my pubescent mustache, and farted in front of my 7th grade girlfriend - ahhh memories!
Ahh, gotta love Halloween. I mean it's the perfect opportunity for women to show guys just how slutty they actually are. Oh, and what better place to show off your cleavage then at David's house party! OMG! Only one problem, pervert creep in the back wasn't invited and plans on knocking you out with a pumpkin and giving you a shaving cream bikini.
This man's reaction is just one reason why you should never pester the local bar drunk for a quick photo op. Oh, and because he bites. Not nips, bites. And he hasn't had a tetanus shot since 1987. So just stay the fuck away from him and enjoy your Mich Ultra alone, okay?
Have you ever wondered what lies inside your local gay bar? Thanks to some stellar investigative reporting we were able to catch a glimpse of the studliest manwhore on the planet. After this picture was taken he gave the man in black a 20 minute chest massage for a chicken McNugget.
What's better then 4 hot (and mildly retarded) women shakin their asses, drooling on their chests, and throwing up in the corner of your wedding? Nothing is the correct answer.
A) Remind them how successful you are B) Expose them to your sensitive side by sharing your favorite Disney movie C) Dive over a banister, spit your gum at their heads, and scream in agony
Not sure if there is a dead hooker on the ground or this guy just filled his underpants with his steak dinner he ate an hour ago. Either way he's an all star.
I'm sorry, but I've never seen anyone look more fucking pathetic in the company of two chicks pretending to make out than this guy on the right. YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!
A) Waiting for the camera man to throw a dead fish in his mouth B) Training for the Garbage Olympics (I am picturing 8 homeless men wrestling in raw sewage) C) Screaming in joy/pain because instigator to his right has his thumb up his ass
Much of the family stayed away from little Billy at formal events, pretending he was some stranger's kid and not their own brethren. They also pretended to not notice when he snuck in pictures and shit his pants...
